It’s almost become cliché – “if you don’t know where you’re going, how will you know when you get there?” Simple logic, yes, yet I’ve recently been exploring the other side of goal-setting.

Another New Year
It’s a familiar scene – the blank screen or sheet of paper, ready to receive our new year’s resolutions – full of hope and promise for better things yet to come, of habits formed and habits broken. Yet we all know, as it is so often fodder for comedians and advertisers alike, these goals are more often than not abandoned, manoeuvred around, or simply forgotten.

Take A Moment
So, am I saying that we should give up on having goals, aim for nothing, and just loll about through life? Hm, interesting question – I’m glad you asked. What do you see as the opposite of living a goal-directed life? (No, really – take a moment to answer that question for yourself. You may be surprised.)

An Alternative View
I would like to suggest that there’s another possibility to the “aimless life” scenario. There’s an inner knower in you, the part of you that’s the spark, the sacred, the eternal. Learning to listen to that part of you can put you in a natural state of flow – where there is no struggle, no external deadlines, and you know you are on the right path.

For the aim is not to just be in action, but to be in right action, where “right action” sometimes looks like no action at all.

A Big Clue
So how do you learn to really listen, to enter this place of flow? There are many many ways of learning to tune in and listen to your inner knowing – I will talk about some of them in upcoming issues of Inklings. But here’s a really big clue: you can’t be identified with your mind and be in flow. This mind-directed state is sometimes referred to as “ego mind”, the inner voice we’ve all developed which criticizes, judges, and keeps us from moving forward.

A Simple Beginning
For now, lets try the simplest of all possible ways of connecting with your true inner voice, in contrast to the “ego mind” voice which is often so much louder in our heads. This is a technique which you’ve been practicing all your life, likely without noticing. And here it is - Just Breathe. And be aware of your breathing. Even 20 seconds of consciously feeling your breath enter your body, fill it up, and then leave – without even any special breathing techniques like counting or holding – can create big changes in your life.

Flow In Practice – No Absolutes
So, do want to set a goal to remember to breathe consciously every day? You can. You can schedule it in, or post reminders for yourself. This is where the line gets fuzzy. And that is what I’m learning more and more – that there are truly few absolutely. It’s not “goals vs. flow”, but it’s about using flow and using goals in ways that best support your growth and your “right action” in every moment. And the balance of goals and flow which you use in your life will likely shift during different periods in your life.

The Distinction
Using our example of doing a bit of conscious breathing every day, one distinction may be that in flow your “right actions” come more naturally and freely, while often in following up on goals we feel we have to force ourselves. If you stay conscious to letting go of mind-identification, and begin to feel yourself as wholly connected to everything and everyone around you, much of the striving and the struggle disappear – and you are in flow.

It is also possible to be in flow while also pursuing a concrete goal – that is the best of both worlds. But don’t force it. If you’ve set some goals for yourself, and things just aren’t working out as you’d planned – check in with yourself. See if maybe “right action” at this time may be to take a break, do some conscious breathing, and connect into the flow. Then see what happens.

Try It For Yourself
Play around with this idea of goal-based vs. flow-based living. Start noticing how you relate to things you want, things you long for, things that bug you or drive you nuts. Notice when things are going well and easily – how are you relating to the world then? Do you feel in flow? Are you actively pursuing specific goals? There is no right answer here – awareness is the first step to enlightenment and realization – and to making peace with what IS.

A Time and Place For Everything
Goal-setting is certainly a powerful tool, but don’t let our cultural predispositions toward “ego mind” bring you to forget about the power of just BEing, of sitting quietly and listening to the subtle rustling of your inner knowing. For that is the true connection with Spirit, your link to yourself, the direct conduit to joy and peace – to YOU.

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts, comments, and insights. Drop me a line at inna@heyWhatsNext.com.

© Inna Nirenburg