| ...our
beliefs, even those we hold as the truth and are really attached
to, are just that - beliefs that we hold as truth and are really
attached to.
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Beliefs
and Make-Believe: A Life and Holiday Season Make-Over
Where's the magic? When
was the last time you got up in the morning brimming with excitement,
unable to keep still because of all the exuberant possibilities
that the day ahead was holding for you? All those fun adventures,
mischievous plans, playful projects... Kids
will often experience this kind of unbearable excitement for the
day ahead - for life itself. They have not yet taken on so many
beliefs about life that many of us, adults, have accumulated over
the years. What are your beliefs, the messages playing in your head?
Tune in, look at what's there.
Is it something
like: life is hard; you don't get anything for free; you work hard
and then you die; it's always a struggle; you have to pay your dues;
you have to take things seriously; life isn't fair; my life stinks;
I never get a break...? You've probably had these, or other variations
of such thoughts spinning through your mind at various points -
either consciously or not.
And what's the
experience - in your emotions, in your body - from these thoughts?
Probably something like a heaviness, a slowness, constriction in
your body, along with hopelessness, isolation, sadness, anger...
(And even now,
notice your experience in your body and your energy level as you
read this - I would bet that your emotions and body sensations have
changed even from the beginning of this article! That's what focusing
on these messages does.)
We, adults,
often miss the main, critical point here. This is that our beliefs,
even those we hold as the truth and are really attached to, are
just that - beliefs that we hold as truth and are really attached
to. The truly amazing thing is that as humans, we totally have the
power to shift our beliefs, and our points of view - and thus our
whole reality as we perceive it.
Lofty words,
perhaps, but a very powerful concept.
Lets take the
impending holiday season as an example. What are your beliefs about
the holidays? Often we hear things like: it's a zoo out there; I
hate dealing with family drama, and there's always family drama;
there's never enough time to do everything, and certainly no time
left for me; everything has to be perfect; I wish it were just over
already; I hate dealing with the budgets, the craziness, the commercialisms
of it all; and on and on and on.
Yet, do you
see - all of these are just beliefs, just ways of focusing your
attention. And how bizarre that most of us will choose to focus
our attention outside of ourselves, to fall victim to circumstance.
Yet, it is not the external circumstances that truly affect us -
it is our beliefs about those circumstances. And here's the key
- there are always things you can do to change these beliefs, and
to re-focus your attention. I guarantee it - this will change your
whole outlook and reality. Even if no outward changes take place.
For example:
sure, there's commercialism aplenty this time of year, and it can
get to you. How about switching off the TV and doing your shopping
on the internet instead? Yea, family drama can erupt this time of
year. But how about re-focusing on the gratitude of having people
in your life to share the holidays with? Of course, budgets can
be strained by gift-buying. Why not brainstorm fun and inexpensive
gift ideas - maybe create a cooking or arts project with your kids
or your best friend and make your own unique holiday gifts?
The possibilities
are endless. Your attention, where you focus your energy, will determine
what kind of holiday season you'll have. It's your choice - a bah-
humbug grumpy season, or a creative and joyful magical time (or
anything in between)!
Plant
the Seeds:
- What are
your beliefs about life? Take a moment, and see what messages
play in your head.
- What are
your beliefs about the holidays? What do you keep telling yourself
and other folks close to you about the holidays?
- What can
you re-focus your attention on to bring the joy back?
- Begin to
notice your body sensations and emotions. Name them. They are
likely pointing you to an unhelpful belief or thought process.
- Finally -
re-read the first paragraph of this article, and connect with
that mischievous, magical, excited place inside. From here, what
actions can you take this holiday season to make it fun and special?
As always, I'd
love to hear your thoughts, comments, and insights. Drop me a line
at inna@heyWhatsNext.com.
© 2004 Inna Nirenburg
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